When They're Ready...

I have had yet another lesson in the "they'll do it when they're ready" theory. Olivia has been 3 for over a month and it was starting to bother me that she was showing no interest in potty training. Especially considering her initial interest in the potty started around 20 mos., so I was shocked that she was one of the last girls of our acquaintance to move out of diapers. And of course, even though I knew better, it had started to make me wonder if I had done something as a parent or instead, if I didn't do something that I was supposed to. The doubts and questions were all over my head..."should I have pushed more?", "did I push too much too early?", "did I say something that made her feel pressured?", "do I need to force the issue more?"...ahh gotta love the mother guilt...damned if you do, damned if you don't.

So last week I came out of Malia's room, after getting her down for a nap, to find Livy closing the lid to the toilet and pulling up her underwear. Huh? Seems that Livy found the underwear in a laundry basket (I think Dad had let her wear it over a diaper recently) and decided she really wanted to wear it. And she knew that to wear it meant you went peeps on the potty. In fact, her first words to me as I found her in the bathroom that day were, "I go peeps on the potty WITHOUT Mommy and Daddy." Oh little Miss Independent! It has been exactly one week since that day in the bathroom, and although the first two days had a number of accidents, we have been accident-free since then. She has even pooped on the potty, which I thought was going to require an act of Congress, but instead just required an act of Livy I guess.

All this comes down to the most basic rule of child-rearing, but one that is so easy to ignore/forget/overlook/underestimate, which is that a child will do something when they are good and ready. Whether it's to potty train, eat solid foods, or fall asleep on their own...we adults want it on our timeline yet it's just not realistic to expect their little bodies and minds to conform to our timelines or needs. Not to mention that it takes away what is natural and empowering for them. So having learned this lesson yet again, I am empowered by my child and reminded that I need to listen to her needs and respect her timeline. And I know that I will re-learn this lesson over and over throughout my years of raising my girls. Having watched my little girl master her bodily functions in one week's time, I am reminded that when I leave it to their own developmental timeline, the process will be faster, easier and much more comfortable for all of us. I'm glad I let Olivia set her own timeline for potty training...I hope I can remember this lesson over the coming months and years!