What It's All About

Yes, I have slacked off on blogging for over six months and I am not sure how confident I am about my capacity to blog as we inch closer (HA, it's more like hurtle closer!) to the holidays. But I'm going to try to blog more often.

Spotting this picture today in my recent downloads, my heart brimmed over as I looked at the three girls that fill my days with laughter, activities, snuggles and of course, the inevitable little kid drama. Lots of that drama. Phew. Good thing they're cute.

Seriously, this picture speaks volumes about where I am in my life; I am surrounded by lovebugs, and the fact that I'd post a picture online in which I have no makeup attests to how much I absolutely adore this picture, and the lovely moment in time that was captured.

Life is full AND good. More to come...

Rite of Passage

What is it about this wobbly, top-heavy, easy-to-tip barstool that draws the eye of every curious baby in our family? And don'tcha love that they each have their own style of showing off? Cuz you can see the gleam of pride on each face; my babes are impressed with themselves and are damn happy to conquer the barstool all the while watching their mama sweat. Just the scratch of a barstool leg on the tile floor makes mama come running. And of course it's Malia testing me with the whole "look ma, only one hand!" (Yeah, I know, I risked the fall in order to take their picture. Totally worth it.)

A Case of Spring Fever

With the dark cloud of illness looming over our house for the entire winter season, we have been housebound and sick far too much for a family with three young, lively girls. You name it, we've had it...cold, stomach flu, cold, lice, cold, pink eye, cold, cold, cold. In fact, I think we've passed around the same cold virus since January. So coming into Spring Break with colds was a bit of a letdown, and after listening to the lovely vacation plans of so many friends...I admit I was a bright shade of kelly green with my envy. I was ready to get the heck out of Dodge and have some fun, but it wasn't looking good.

Our week started off mellow, nursing a cold and a possible case of pink eye (thankfully it never transpired), and with rain in the forecast I was quite concerned that our Spring Break was going to be a miserable, painful bust. But by Wednesday we were out amongst the living, hitting children's museums to hold starfish and fly space shuttles, horseback riding and spying on barn owls at a bucolic ranch nearby, and visiting a baby giraffe and Malia's beloved capybaras at the Santa Barbara Zoo. And today Olivia was off to sleep over at her cousin's house in Seal Beach for the very first time. Talk about exciting for a 5 year old.

Reminds me that I was looking at the glass half empty again...there was plenty of adventure and fun right under our noses.

Auntie Tita spreading her passion for horses to my girls, with the help of her sweet horse, Snort (tough name, gorgeous girl)

My sweet girl, a slice of romaine and one very long, black tongue

A Farewell

This weekend we said our final farewells to a truly good man, Leo Perez; a husband (who called his wife "Lover" til the day she died, after 62 years of marriage!), a father of 3, a grandfather of 6 and a great-grandfather of 5.

Having been part of Paul's family since our early years of dating (because that's the kind of people they are- they open their homes and arms generously), I have heard many of the family's stories (and continue to hear the good ones over and over). But upon his death, I continued to learn more about what a great man Grandpa was.

As a young man, he was a competitive cyclist in the Bay Area, with the utterly cool nickname "Chili" Perez. He was a Navy man, proudly serving his country during World War II, during which his ship was bombed by Kamikaze planes in the Pacific Ocean; he was one of few survivors pulled from shark-infested waters. In his retirement, he and his wife were founding members of Food Share, gleaning leftover fruits and vegetables from the fields for those less fortunate.

He was a man of many talents. He was known to family and friends as a fantastic cook, a master gardener and a talented wood-worker, using his favored oak boards to make just about anything and everything, and building well into his late 80's. Every family member has enjoyed the fruits of his labors: bellies full of traditional Mexican dishes, beautiful plumerias growing in our gardens, and his lovely oak furniture gracing our homes.

He has a well-earned spot in Heaven, where he can enjoy watching his Angels and square dancing with the love of his life, Stella. I am so grateful to Leo and Stella, not only for beginning this family and allowing me the chance to meet Paul, but also for the chance to be like a granddaughter to them. I never had the opportunity to meet either of my Grandfathers, they both died shortly before I was born, so Leo was the first man I called Grandpa. And my heart swelled every time Stella called me "Mija"; they took me in with the generous manner their children continue to practice.

And I'm grateful that my children got to meet them, even if it was only for their early years. Unfortunately, Grandma only got to meet Olivia, but Grandpa held and cuddled each of my girls, and I'm so glad we have pictures to show the girls of each of them in his lap, sleeping sweetly or staring up at him, enjoying his warm, strong arms (and God bless Grandpa for holding a screaming Malia last summer!).

We love and miss you Grandpa!

Milestone Mania

Last year, while imagining what three kids might look and feel like, I tried to prepare myself for day-in and day-out chaos. Three kids crying at the same time, perhaps all for different reasons. Long nights where I'm up with each one of them at some point, dealing with nightmares, scary shadows, wet beds, fevers or just simply tears. I imagined three kids sick all at once, with long days spent holding feverish little bodies, wiping noses and filling humidifiers. And I knew that our aging laundry machine would rarely sit idle, churning out clean clothes and linens far faster than I could ever get them folded and put away, (I was incredibly on the mark with that prediction, as I currently stare at three overflowing baskets.)

Thankfully, chaos is a rare visitor to our home, however it has paid a recent visit to our home and decided to make itself comfortable. Besides fighting constant viruses that won't seem to leave us alone, Paul and I are on our toes, literally running from room to room these days. All three girls are on the move. All three are growing and changing. And all five of us are riding an emotional roller coaster while adjusting to all this change. Lovely change. Exciting change. Exhausting change.

Olivia just lost her first tooth. Physically, this was a pretty easy milestone, but emotionally, this hit me like a punch to the gut. Olivia and I experienced such opposite reactions. She initially cried out, from pain and fear, followed by great excitement knowing it meant the arrival of the Tooth Fairy. As for me, I broke into a huge grin, which was immediately followed by tears; my sweet girl is truly growing up and it's such a shock that she's losing the baby teeth that caused such a fuss upon their arrival just four short years ago.

As for Malia, I'm thinking she is going to be the kid that always surprises us. She is a sensitive, slightly nervous child that takes awhile to warm up to new people and places. So she blew us away with her acceptance and love for her baby sister from the minute they met, and her transition to preschool last August was an absolute breeze. Since January, this girl has decided, on her own, to potty train, sleep in a big bed and share her room with Livy...all things she was extremely reticent about just a month before. Note to self: Malia will do it when she's ready...and she will be impossible to predict!

And our little Miss Madeline is busy on her way through the baby milestones. After 2 months of scooting about the house, she is now truly crawling. And quickly. And she's pulling up on everything in sight, particularly the tippable, highly unsafe furniture, doll strollers and laundry baskets that will surely send her crashing to the floor. Really? We're there already? It seems weeks ago Maddie was nursing and sleeping her days away and now she's a force to be reckoned with, causing me to circle all floors and low surfaces like a vulture, on the hunt for Legos, doll shoes and beads that are prime Maddie targets. Not to mention she's already eating finger foods, babbling and charming the pants off people...um, where did my baby go?

So I was thankfully wrong about the chaos three kids might bring. It's not that three kids is more work than two, because honestly, one high-needs kid is probably more work than my three put together. It's that kids are always in a new phase of development and growth, and when all three are on the move and changing up our world, it's the perfect trifecta of chaos.

#15

So.Damn.Lucky.

This is our fifteenth Valentine's Day and I can remember every sweet part of our first. Balloons with clues. Dinner in Morro Bay. At Dorn's. Exchanging presents in your truck. Next to Morro Rock. A picture frame for me that I had nearly bought for you. Great minds that totally think alike.

Not sure what I did, but God blessed me with the best man ever. Love you Babe!

Wild as the Winds

Given that this is possibly the strangest winter of weather experienced in So. Cal as long as I've lived here, it's fitting that our family is experiencing a bit of the same, with wild winter days of ups and downs and complete 180-degree turnarounds. I'm not given to moodiness, but if I were, I'd have a touch of whiplash given the highs and lows we're experiencing around here lately. Much like our garden, it seems we are laid a bit bare for the hot sun one day and bitter cold winds the next.

We are in much transition right now: applying for lotteries for Kindergarten (who knew this stuff began 7 months before the kid actually goes to school?), turning five, potty training, sitting up, scooting and eating solid foods, turning thirty-five and starting a new management position that will require even longer work hours for all adults in our house. And all this along with very busy everyday stuff like preschool conferences, playdates, doctor appointments, ballet and swim lessons, beach days and haircuts. If it's an ebb and flow kind of thing, we're all flow right now.

Marvelous moment #1: Our (big) little girl turns 5!

There are lows that require much thought and prayer, like an extended family member recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and there are highs like 35th birthdays with childhood friends rallying around and driving long miles to celebrate and cheer. Disappointments, like an upcoming visit with cousins (and nieces) we haven't seen in over a year now postponed 'til summer, and thrills, like the news I am awaiting of a dear friend's first baby girl arriving any moment now.

Marvelous moment #2: Surprising Paul on his 35th with his very best friends

My heart is so full yet so heavy. Much to love, much to celebrate, much to hold up high and rejoice. Much looking forward to quieter times when the melancholy mixes less with the marvelous.

To The Third Power

So I've never been a math person. It seems the left side of my brain just prefers to let the right side take over and do most of the work...some might say my left brain is a bit on the lazy side. And I'm happy to keep it that way; I love language, words, art, reading, writing, etc.

However, there is some pretty basic math that is resonating loud and clear around here lately. It's not exactly stretching my brain, this math, but it is stretching my resources, my capacity, my patience and my sanity. Let's see if you can keep up with me here, I'll lay the equations out simply:

1 + 1 + 1 = 3

3 > 1

Are you right brainers still with me? This elementary math is so simple, yet somehow I find myself surprised by the results. If 3 is obviously greater than 1, why am I surprised at the level of exhaustion and the lack of patience I experience at the end of a day with my three girlies? Why am I shocked that I can't seem to read more than a page in a book, hence why I haven't finished a novel in 6 months. Why this blog sat discarded through the entire month of December. Why Christmas gifts still littered my dinner table until two days ago. Why the refrigerator is in need of a heavy-handed cleaning. Why I never have clean clothes to wear, but my kids do.

Simple math, yet I allow myself to be confounded by the situation. When people ask how it is managing three kids, I typically make some self-deprecating remark, or I say that it's nearly the same as two; we have great days and tough days just like 2-kid families. Every parent has their challenges, no matter how many kids right? But some days I am reminded that God gave me two hands and with three kids, I will never have enough hands. And I just need to learn to make peace with that.

a.k.a. the line-up, the trio, the stair steps, the trifecta

5 Years and 8 Hours Ago...

this sweet, feisty baby girl was born and rocked my world and my soul. She gave me the best title I've earned so far, that of "Mama" and I will truly never be the same. She was also my first lesson in an earth-shattering, blissful, wrenching and absolute unconditional love and for that I shall always be grateful. It has been said that there is no love like that of a mother for her child. And it has been said that loving a child is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. Um, yeah. Exactly.

1 Day Old

1 Year Old

2 Years Old

3 Years Old

4 Years Old

Nearly 5 Years Old

Can't wait to see what the next five years have in store for my funny, social, fun-loving, spirited lovebug. What a journey it's been, and so much to look forward to!